A few days after Dorothy and Toto returned home from their adventures in Oz, Norris Newshound, reporter from the newspaper, "Barker's Chronicle", (their motto: "News for Dogs, and you can pee on it after") sat and stayed with Toto to learn his thoughts concerning his trip to see the Wizard.
NN: Toto, you don't look any worse for wear after your big trip.
Toto: Thanks, Norris, I don't feel too badly, though I am a little hoarse.
NN: There was a lot of barking?
Toto: Oh, you betcha! Tornadoes, wicked witches, weird Munchkins. And those trees!
NN: What about the trees, Toto?
Toto: Man, they were wild. They threw apples. I tried fetching them, but there were just too many. So I just barked and lifted my leg. You know how a dog loves a tree.
NN: Hmm, yes, well. Tell us a bit about your companions.
Toto: Well, you know I love Dorothy to death, but she has strange taste in friends. I mean, that Scarecrow tasted awful. You can't really sink your teeth into straw, you know. And every time you'd turn around, that Tin Man was calling for his oil can. I got a little tired of the "Oil can what?" joke. I mean, woof!
NN: Were you afraid of the Lion?
Toto: Are you serious? I could take him down with three paws tied behind my back.
NN: I understand the Flying Monkeys were rather terrifying.
Toto: Not much fun being carried away by one of those monkeys.
NN: It was painful and scary?
Toto: Naw, they just had a gawd-awful smell. Woof! You know, I like me some good smells. The Wicked Witch actually didn't smell that bad. Kinda like lollipops.
NN: You don't mean.......?
Toto: Yep, that Munchkin Mayor told us there used to be a lot more representatives of the Lollipop Guild.
NN: So Toto, you were a hero, weren't you, since you were the one who discovered the Wizard imposter.
Toto: Oh, sure, I decided it was "Curtains" for that guy. What a maroon.
NN: Do you think you would like to return to Oz some time, Toto?
Toto: Yeah, I think so. You know, they have that Horse of a Different Color? I heard they also have a Dog of a Thousand Smells, and that she ain't fixed! Woof, woof!
NN: Good dog, Toto. And this concludes our interview. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Glad you returned safely.
Toto: Thanks, Norris. There's no place like home, unless there's big juicy steak at the neighbor's.
