At Home, Again

It is so good to have my husband back home. He spent two and a half weeks in the hospital this time. Now he is enjoying his own bed, his own things, the quiet and peace of being back in the fold of his family.

There has been improvement. There have been discussions with doctors. We have a plan for his continued recovery, and plans for later, after he is recovered which I am sure some of you will guess at and approve of, but I won't discuss now.

My goal right now is to help him heal, build up his strength, get him to put back some of the 30 plus pounds he lost. He is eating a lot better now by the way, though still very small amounts. He is facing a reconstruction surgery in a few months to reconnect a section of the bowel, but we are not even going to think about that at this time.

So many great comments, support, encouragement, emails, advice and good ideas from you wonderful people. Every comment was read and appreciated. Thank you so much for the love and caring!

Sunnier days ahead!!!

Truth

 This is the truth of the situation.

12 days now in the hospital for the second time. In some things, improvement, and others, not so much. Very frustrating for the patient and his wife. At what point do we throw our hands up and say, "enough!"  We actually have already passed that point a ways back, but to no avail. We are not satisfied with answers we are getting, and it is disheartening, to say the least, to not have confidence in the surgeon.

Things have definitely been mishandled, misdirected or unattended to. Second opinions and possibly third being sought. He should not be suffering like this after almost 8 weeks.

I just want to get him well and strong and back to himself, back to me.

I am angry, sad and pained by his pain. This has truly turned into a very bad dream.

May Day!!

 Time to get jiggy with it!!

Beltane Blessings

Who doesn't love Beltane?! Celebrating the turning of the Wheel to a warmer, lighter time of growing things of all plants and species. Definitely a party atmosphere. Of course here, not so much due to the situation, but I still wanted to acknowledge Beltane and send out love and light to all!!

As for my husband, Interventional Radiology performed a procedure on Sunday to try to correct this awful draining. He is in new pain, but please, oh please, we are hoping this will take care of it!! And I, of course caught a head cold and am having to stay away from the hospital for a couple of days; do not want to give my cold to him!

Have a beautiful day and night!

Back To the Hospital

Yesterday (April 25th) I took my husband for a CT scan and today we received the results. There is another abscess and all this drainage he has been enduring from three sites is from that abscess. This explains his failure to grow stronger, the complete loss of appetite and inability to eat and the loss of close to thirty pounds in the last month! He has been experiencing a lot of pain from the infected sites.

So the doctor said he must be admitted to the hospital ASAP, started on intravenous antibiotics, etc and prepare for another procedure to find and treat the abscess, which is hiding out in a portion of his intestine.

He is such a trooper even with all of this added misery. We have had to change his dressings several times a day over the last week due to the drainage (sorry about the "ick" factor). Right now he looks like the merest shadow of his former self. We want to get him strong and healthy because golf season is here!!

This is not the news I wanted to be blogging about! I was hoping by this time he would be so much better and able to go out and help me choose a small tree or two that we could plant for Arbor Day today. My son was looking forward to digging a hole and getting a tree into the ground. I hope someone out there planted a tree today!!!

All for now; hopefully back soon with better news!  Bright blessings from Robin.

Popping In

Here I am, almost at the end of Earth Day to say hello to my good friends. This region of the planet was beautiful today, though brisk; beautiful sky, new buds on the trees, so many of our dear wild birds returning. A glorious day on Earth.

As far as my husband's progress; the healing of the surgical site is quite good. He still has a problem with a terrible drainage of an infection at the site of one of the surgical staples that were removed. It is causing a lot of problems. The other problem is weight loss due to a serious lack of appetite, though we are working daily to correct this. He will be having a CT scan this week to see about the infection. He has much less pain now, but still quite weak. I believe most of this is all entirely normal. If not for the staple site infection, he would be doing much better.

Obviously, I don't have much else to talk about as my days and nights are centered around my husband's care. I am going to try to visit everyone's blogs this week; it will probably take me a while to get around, as I have a lot of posts to catch up on. I hope you have not all forgotten me!!! Because I think of all of you every day.

I have been doing a lot of reading and have some fabulous books to recommend. Hopefully I can do that soon. And I am dreaming of the summer garden. We could not do much last year garden wise as my brother was recovering from the two strokes. Now this year, my husband is ailing, but my son and I are determined to do a few things. We shall see!!

And so I shall say farewell for now. My forget-me-nots are starting to bloom! That beautiful sky-blue tiny blossom. That is my message to you: Forget-me-not! Hugs from Robin.

Curious, but also Significant

Rain fell most of the day and when it was not raining, it was cloudy, drippy, misty. The garden was active, though with birds, voles, a large rabbit, squirrels and green shoots pushing up from the awakening earth.

While my husband was napping on this quiet, gray day, I took the opportunity to enjoy a music meditation. There are three types of meditations I practice; meditating in silence and alone, which opportunity does not present itself too often; candle meditation on esbats (full moon observance), for specific purposes, for communing with the God and the Goddess; and my music meditation where I put my headphones on and play some of my favorite celtic cds. I have special selections for various applications, and sometimes just for a few minutes of relaxation.

Anyway, having said all that, let me tell you what happened this afternoon.

I was listening to some beautiful music from my Scottish Moors cd and spent a lovely 30 minutes drifting through the Unseen world, breathing slowly, focusing on healing and peace. The last 10 minutes or so, I felt a strong energy surrounding me, and began using my hands and arms in harmony with the music, drawing in the energy, pulling it toward me. It was a beautiful experience and I strongly felt the presence of Deity.

When the meditation ended, I plucked off the headphones and got up from my glider/rocker and headed for the kitchen for something to drink. This was less than 60 seconds after my meditation. My son Nick called to me just a few feet away. "Mom, look what is in the garden!" I turned around and looked through the glass doors.

A beautiful hawk was walking in the garden. Walking! I have never seen a hawk walking before. Usually soaring or sitting in a tree or on the fence.

We watched him stroll around for a few seconds, obviously drawn to the garden by the various creatures that had been busy throughout the day.

Suddenly he ran around the small arborvitae in the garden. Completely circled it once, then twice, then thrice in a widdershins movement (counterclockwise). We were amazed at this sight. Goosebumps rising.

The hawk then flew up to the fence, sat for a few minutes fluffing his feathers, fanning his tail and then launched himself toward the sky.

I found this curious, but also significant. Coincidence?  I shall reflect on this event.  It actually was quite wonderful.