Merry Meet and Merry Part, and Merry Meet again

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Truth

 This is the truth of the situation.

12 days now in the hospital for the second time. In some things, improvement, and others, not so much. Very frustrating for the patient and his wife. At what point do we throw our hands up and say, "enough!"  We actually have already passed that point a ways back, but to no avail. We are not satisfied with answers we are getting, and it is disheartening, to say the least, to not have confidence in the surgeon.

Things have definitely been mishandled, misdirected or unattended to. Second opinions and possibly third being sought. He should not be suffering like this after almost 8 weeks.

I just want to get him well and strong and back to himself, back to me.

I am angry, sad and pained by his pain. This has truly turned into a very bad dream.








21 comments:

Witchy Godmother said...

Oh NO! I am so sorry to hear your news. I pray for his recovery and that you both get the answers that you need and he gets the treatment needed.
Hugs to you.

Introverted Art said...

Robin, I can't imagine all the anguish you must be feeling right now... I think the evasive answers, the not knowing is the worse part. You are such a trooper. I am here rooting for you Robin. Sending tons of positive vibes.

mrsduncanmahogany said...

Oh Robin. I am sorry to hear this trouble. Not good. There has to be something that is causing all this. I can't believe that a 3rd opinion is being sought. I hold you both in my thoughts. Take care.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Yes, second and third opinions are in order. I hope a change of medical team can produce the desired results.

When your husband is feeling better and home again, consult a lawyer too.

Sending best wishes and bright blessings.

c. Joy said...

I am sorry to read of you and your husband's continuing ordeal. I hope you can hold on - stay strong - and get hubby healed. Be sure to get enough rest and to eat healthy.

The Happy Whisk said...

I wish I could offer more than just an, I'm sorry to read this.

Hope your hubby gets healed up soon. Wishing the best for you guys.

Hugs.

Sandi said...

Hi, after our chat yesterday, you sound more angered today. You so need second and third opinion. He and you deserve more than you are getting and something is very wrong.
The Fairy went shopping yesterday and left you a "smile" by your door complete with hanging apparatus. Thoughts and prayers with you all.
XO

Linda Wildenstein said...

You know I can't always contain my opinion. This is absolute crap. There is no excuse for the horrible pain your husband has had to suffer and for you to have to endure watching. 2nd, 3rd opinions whatever it takes. Just know that you have never left my morning devotions and you will not even after your hubby and you are home and he is well. Much love, Oma Linda

Jeanne said...

This is not the news I was hoping to hear! You are getting another opinion or two I hope. This does not speak well of the surgeon or the hospital. Please speak with the hospital administration about getting another doctor to see to your Hubby. And don't take no for an answer. Keeping you both in my thoughts. {{hugs}}

oldgreymare said...

I wanted to say something to you a few weeks ago about seeking additional advice but felt it was not my place..but now hearing you say it..here goes.... After years, 50 total, of dealing with chronically ill parents I have witnessed the worst medical care ever, and some great care. Scary stuff too much to even mention here but I learned very early (in my mid twenties) to be VERY PROACTIVE to the point of yelling quite loudly at the head of the renal unit in Presby in Pittsburgh, and a maverick in the beginning stages of kidney transplants, that he had made a huge mistake, I could prove it, and he had better do as I asked or there would be hell to pay.

You are his advocate, fight like hell, piss people off and get him well. When you find the right people to help him, you will find you won't need to yell. My guess is as long as you are still in the same hospital no Dr there will contradict a Dr on staff. Is there another good hospital near by or will your insurance pay for a Mayo or Scripps clinic? My friend had to take her husband to Scripps to get answers and save him.. Meanwhile document everything that has happened and been said so far. You may need the info,
Bless you dear..We're all here to listen and pray.
<3

Jacquelineand.... said...

Oh Robin, I hate seeing this......get other opinions, 10th and 12th if necessary.

You are both in my thoughts daily and I hope to see better news soon. Sending gentle hugs!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

robin this is awful. in this day and age, no one should be in this much pain for so long. get other opinions asap and i am wishing you both relief soon!!! what an ordeal this has been for both of you!

The Boston Lady said...

Robin, Z said it best up above. Get your kids to help you or a close family friend to seek those other opinions. And as she said, it may be necessary to go to another hospital because of doctor backing doctor.

Unfortunately being in the hospital is offensive sport these days and you/the advocate has to demand attention and pay attention to everything being done.

If I can help in anyway looking up information/research I am happy to help you. As Z also said, we are all here to support you even if it is just in spirit.

Ann

Magic Love Crow said...

Robin, I don't know what to say! This is bullshit and I am so sorry! You and your hubby have not left my prayers! Hold on my friend and be strong! I don't know why you and your hubby are going through this. Much love and big hugs! xoxoxo

Sandy Sandy said...

Dear Sweet Robin - I just found this post and I am horrified! What a terrible ordeal!! It's time to get mean, get really mad ... yell, scream and throw a tantrum!!! Enough is enough already! Find someone who will listen and can help. I agree with all the ladies above!! Sending strength, stamina, love and hugs to you both. xoxo Sandy

Cherry City Kitties said...

sending you and your husband reiki love and please as others have said, other opinions are important at this point. Carolyn

thecottagebythecranelaketwo said...

Still not better!!!

This must be truly awful and I feel so sorry for You all!

You're in my prayers!

Christer.

Mary A said...

I am a physician and this much advice I can give you: go to a major medical center to get your 2nd and 3rd opinions. Don't give up. Be persistent. Really what alternative is there?? My thoughts are with you. Mary A

Ellen in Oregon said...

I am so sorry you both have been brought to this point. I would see about having your Husband admitted to the nearest teaching hospital where an Infectious Disease specailsit will admit him. Go through the Emergency Dept. if you have to. He needs the attention of the best Infectious Disease specialists you can find. If he stays in the same hospital, he is unlikely to get the attention he needs. The current docs either misdiagnosed or don't know enough to treat your Husband at this point. This has gone on too long and he needs a new set of eyes to look over what has been done to treat him & re-evaluate his condition/diagnosis. You have good justification to have your Husband transferred to a teaching hospital ASAP. Good physicians would have suggested other opinions a long time ago. Hospitals often just try to cover their legal butts at this point and stop being helpful to the patient they have botched up. Unfortunately, it is likely all the doctors in the current hospital will just back up their peers opinions. There was something very wrong with the surgeon operating before a bad infection had cleared & was under control. The surgeon potentially made the infection spread & worsen by not placing drains when he did the couple of surgeries.
focus on getting him a new hospital & new ID team to evaluate your husbands current condition & treatment recommendations. I would do whatever I had to do to convince the insurance that he needs to be transferred to receive an accurate diagnosis & treatment before he deteriorates any further. Keep good notes of everyting that happens and names of everyone you speak with. have the Social Worker come talk with you about transfer & loocating best Infectious Disease specialist in your area. The Social Worker should be able to find out what you insurance will cover. Regardless of insurance I would do whatever need to get your Husband to the best doctor or facility that will admit him.
You have been tolerant long enough with this hospital & its' staff. Time to get yourselves out of there and get to where he can be helped.

Ashling said...

Oh no...this is awful. I hope this ends soon for you both and he's back at it, healthy & happy. You both need it!

Chatelaine said...

Wow, he has been through so much and you have too! I hope you find the answers very soon so he can get back to recovery.