King George the Third's response to the Declaration of Independence
The Court of King George III London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson,
We
have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest.
Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your
statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the
Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for
proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for
further refinement. The questions which follow might assist you in your
process of revision:
1. In your opening paragraph you use the
phrase the "Laws of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In
what way are they the criteria on which you base your central arguments?
Please document with citations from the recent literature.
2. In
the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind." Whose
polling data are you using? Without specific evidence, it seems to us
the "opinions of mankind" are a matter of opinion.
3. You hold
truths to be "self-evident" . Could you please elaborate. If they are as
evident as you claim then it should not be difficult for you to locate
the appropriate supporting statistics.
4. "Life, Liberty, and the
pursuit of happiness" seem to be the goals of your proposal. These are
not measurable goals. If you were to say that among these is the ability
to sustain an average life expectancy in six of the 13 colonies of at
last 55 years, and to enable newspapers in the colonies to print news
without outside interference, and to raise the average income of the
colonists by 10 percent in the next 10 years, these could be measurable
goals. Please clarify.
5. You state that "Whenever any Form of
Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the
People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Government...."
Have you weighed this assertion against all the alternatives? What are
the trade-off considerations?
6. Your description of the existing
situation is quite extensive. Such a long list of grievances should
precede the statement of goals, not follow it. Your problem statement
needs improvement.
7. Your strategy for achieving your goal is
not developed at all. You state that the colonies ought to be Free and
Independent States, and that they are "Absolved from All Allegiance to
the British Crown." Who or what must change to achieve this objective?
In what way must they change? What specific steps will you take to
overcome the resistance? How long will it take? We have found that a
little foresight in these areas helps to prevent careless errors later
on. How cost-effective are your strategies?
8. Who among the list
of signatories will be responsible for implementing your strategy? Who
conceived it? Who provided the theoretical research? Who will constitute
the advisory committee? Please submit an organization chart and vitas
of the principal investigators.
9. You must include an evaluation design. We have been requiring this since Queen Anne's War.
10.
What impact will your problem have? .Your failure to include any
assessment of this inspires little confidence in the long-range
prospects of your undertaking.
11. Please submit a PERT diagram, an activity chart, itemized budget, and manpower utilization matrix.
We
hope that these comments prove useful in revising your "Declaration of
Independence." We welcome the submission of your revised proposal. Our
due date for unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776. Ten copies with
original signatures will be required.
Sincerely, Management Analyst to the British Crown
Hahahahaha, no one does red tape better than the Brits!
A favourite scene of mine from "The Sopranos" is when Tony is bitching about happiness being guaranteed in the constitution, so where's his happiness? And his psychiatrist reminds him that only the pursuit is guaranteed. So Tony says, "Yeah, always some fuckin' loophole."
Very funny! I hope you had a great 4th of July Robin ;o) My friend, just to let you know, I had to highlight your post, because the print is very small. I could hardly read it and that's with my glasses on! LOL!
5 comments:
Hahahahaha, no one does red tape better than the Brits!
A favourite scene of mine from "The Sopranos" is when Tony is bitching about happiness being guaranteed in the constitution, so where's his happiness? And his psychiatrist reminds him that only the pursuit is guaranteed. So Tony says, "Yeah, always some fuckin' loophole."
Happy 4th of July!
That was too cute. Enjoy your 4th.
Mary
Too funny! I'm not sure about 1776, but these days this is how it would have been challenged.
Hope you have a great 4th! Ann
I couldn't but laugh when reading this :-) He sure didn't get it, did he :-)
Have a Happy 4th of July!
Christer.
Very funny! I hope you had a great 4th of July Robin ;o) My friend, just to let you know, I had to highlight your post, because the print is very small. I could hardly read it and that's with my glasses on! LOL!
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